A review of Gloria Jean’s Coffees

Gloria is literally screaming for a review.

Ok, so the Goras got us addicted to coffee and their fancy coffee houses! For centuries Indians were content with the mass produced Tapri ki Cutting Chai, but with Independence (I think) came the desire to look for something more satisfying than dirty glasses, cheap soggy cookies, houseflies for company, no seat to rest the tushy and a tarp to ward off the water and the light.

The middle class doesn’t mind paying 100 bucks, exclusive of taxes, for a cup of coffee and the Goras don’t mind taking it, increasing it slightly with every passing month. But, who am I to complain when I end up spending almost Rs.3000 – Rs.3500 on coffee alone, every month! [For a student, it’s too much money that shouldn’t be wasted on 30 glasses of bitter coffee]

Anyway, Gloria Jean’s Coffees has a delightful look on the outside. On the inside, I am not sure. A small space utilized correctly can make one feel more comfortable than a huge mansion can. And this is where they get it wrong! Not only is the place small, it hasn’t been designed well and cannot accommodate more than 25 people at once.

Their place is in full view of the public. If I need a cup of coffee, do I want the whole world walking by and peering inside to see what I am upto? Alright, I can still let go, but what about those couples who really can’t ‘get a room’ and do their coochi-cooing in coffee houses?

GJC is a good place for a take out, although I’m not sure what you’d want to take out with such a limited menu that it vanishes the moment you look away? I was expecting to see an extravagant menu, with all sorts of cold and hot coffee names I wouldn’t be able to pronounce but instead I landed up ordering a cold coffee because everything else seemed either too expensive or not worth a ‘first’ try. If you have to judge a coffee house based on its coffee, starting with the basics will always give you a fair idea of what to expect.

I liked the coffee.

But what I absolutely did NOT like was their self service option! Ok, so I am paying the money, I am standing in line to give my order and when I go rest my butt on the uncomfortable chair, I am asked to collect my order on a tray and to pick the straw, the tissue, the spoon, the sugar and anything else I’d like with my coffee, on my own? Out-fu*king-rageous!

I end up paying a minimum of Rs.100 for one glass of coffee and sitting in a place that has dim lighting, uncomfortable chairs, complete public view (God Forbid, they decide to install an LCD for game nights) and serve myself when I can do the same thing at home for less than 30 bucks?

Safe to say, I’ll go to GJC when someone is in the mood to treat me.

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